Friday, August 19, 2005

MARK RYDEN, ANGEL OF MEAT:

Yeah, I know, late as usual, I discovered the Simpsons late, I discovered Friends late, and CSI. And now my tardy little eye falls upon on of the true greats of the gross-out horror art scene, an artist whose images are so twisted and so warped and so stunningly framed that I'm at a loss for words, let's let the pictures speak.

Here's Mark's ANGEL OF MEAT - click the image to visit Mark's Breugelesque-Daliesque-Trevor_Brownesque site. Corkin' stuff.

DRUG DEPENDANCY - THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT:

Mr Marshall Mathers is in hospital for what they're calling 'sleeping-pill addiction'. I ain't never seen an ass like that.

Here's the full story - blame them, not me.

Monday, August 15, 2005

NPOWER 2nd & 3rd TESTS:

Absolutely stunning last couple of weeks' cricket in the Ashes Series between England and Australia! The Npower 2nd Test match was the best four days of cricket I've ever seen. The 3rd Npower Test is promising to be a repeat performance. The crowd's going wild. Last Aussie in, 24 balls to go!!! Numbing tension - come on England!!!!!!!

20 minute later update: d'oh Australia hung on and forced a draw.

Friday, August 12, 2005

IMDB, NICOLE KIDMAN IN "THE HOURS":

I watched an absolutely beautiful film today, called THE HOURS. Apparently, it starred Meryll Streep, Julianne Moore and a young actress called Nicole Kidman. It was a wornderfully interleaved day-in-the-life-of three women from three eras in history; turn of the century, mid-fifties and present day. The excellent script centred around the Virginia Woolf book Mrs Dalloway, there was suicide and writer angst and all'a that goodness.

But...

Nicole Kidman? Yeah, she's cover credited. She's on the IMDB site for the film. But she wasn't in the film. No fucking way. If she was, she was wearing a prosthetic jew's nose. I mean splendid special effects but I'm convinced she actually wasn't in the film, AT ALL.

Most odd.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

NEW ART, EVE'S APPLES 'N' CHERRIES

Click on the image below to take a closer look at two brand new photomontages just now uploaded to my Deviant Art Gallery.



Enjoy!

FEEL GOOD SUMMER HITS:

I can do feel-good.

:)

Were push to come and shove, I'd have to confess that my all-time favourite feel good summer hit was Will Smith(as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?)'s SUMMERTIME.

Coming in a close second would have to be the more recent Outkast's HEY YA! (shake it like a Polaroid picture!)

Friday, August 05, 2005

BARNEY KLEIN PULLS ONE OFF:

EPISODE 7: PISSIN' WITH THE BIG BOYS - DAY

Corporate toilet in uptown New York. Acquisitions Dude enters, unzipping: Blondie in tow.

Acquisitions Dude: Ahhhhhhhh. Race-horse-pissing. Gotta love it. So, Blondie, how's that mail room job working out for you?

Blondie: It's great! I love envelopes and franking machines! They rule, man!

Acquisitions Dude: Say, you like horror books, donchya?

Blondie: Sure! I read loads of em! Every day! I read 75 books an hour, all horror, all the time. You want horror - I'm your guy!

Acquisitions Dude: So, who's hot in that horror club you're in, you know the one - The Horror Small Crush?

Blondie: Press. Horror Small Press. Barney Klein is the fucking shit, man. He rocks.

Acquisitions Dude: Barney Who?

Blondie: Klein. Barney Klein.

Acquisitions Dude: Klein, huh? Well, I never read any of his shit but I trust you, we'll give him a 2 book contract, see how that works out. You can stop with the cock-sucking now, Blondie; it's going all wrinkly.

NEXT EPISODE: we all need another hero (the mob rallies around their soft, cuddly mascot)

Disclaimer: all resemblance to persons living or dead is purely incidental.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

EVOLUTION, AS ADVERTISED ON TV:

Now, I'm not the most technically scientific of bloggers, I've proved that in many a skanky pseudo-science post, but even I know that EVOLUTION is not about conscious change and self-improvement...

You see this decrepit misrepresentation of EVOLUTION on TV adverts all the time. Like the copy writers are just trying to get it wronger and wronger. Here's a classic ad from the [enter pointless badge name here] car company:

"The [enter pointless car name here] has changed, evolved."

This statement implies conscious ambition, which is totally against the basic tennets of (at least Darwin's) theory of evolution. The pure definition of EVOLUTION points to the random variation as a relation to its environment. EVOLUTION is a true Lottery, a weekly roster of WHO WON. It's not about ALLOY WHEELS ARE SEXY or HAVING FLAMES AND TAILFINS MAKE YOUR BALLS LARGER or FASTER STRIPES and HEATED REAR-WINDOWS MAKE YOU MORE INTELLIGENT. Evolution is not a projective (fantasy) thing. It's a circumstantial (already happened) thing.

For something to have EVOLVED means that a set of random circumstances has ensured that you bought it and it was succesful (past tense). So, all car advertisers (and other ad-abusers of the theory) pease, I implore you, cease and desist your crap-ass EVOLUTIONary campaigns at once. It just makes you look dumber than you already are.

NEW B.F.G.S REVIEW IN RED SCREAM:

I don't know when it's supposed to go in but here's a taster of a new review of that 'literary abomination' BoyFistGirlSuck. This time it's David L Tamarin's stomach which is a-flippin' and a-floppin'. Was the book really that subversive?

THE PISS STENCH OF ABJECTION:
boyfistgirlsuck by Hertzan Chimera and Alex Severin
Review by David L Tamarin

Boyfistgirlsuck is a collection of stories by perverted writers Hertzan Chimera and Alex Severin. I love the book but I am serious when I call the authors perverts, I can’t imagine how they came up with some of the twisted ideas and descriptions and scenarios in this book. The book is a study in the abject, the stories are filled with the stink of piss and other bodily fluids, ugly people, ugly sex acts (such as one sex act featuring a baby dinosaur), ugly places. We are constantly reminded of how awful everything smells, most of the stories take place in an environment that smells like shit or piss or puke. Every conceivable perversion and a whole lot more has been thrown into this book, its like Marquis de Sade’s 120 Days of Sodom in that it depicts one deviant disgusting act after another...


and the rest of it is gonna be in Red Scream Magazine, don't forget to order your copies as Red Scream sells out fast.

THIRD NEW STORY THIS MONTH:

Yup, you read it right. My third new story to go online this month has been chosen by Nancy Jackson who is THE DREAM PEOPLE's August Editor. The theme of this issue is Music. This story is about groupies - but it's not really, it's about multi-dimensional-sex musicians who steal our girls. That's why it's called:

INSTRUMENT OF LOVE by Mike Philbin

STAR CROSSED MOTHER FUCKERS ONLINE:

There IS a website brave enough or stupid enough to reprint Severin and Philbin's classic BoyFistGirlSuck story STAR CROSSED MOTHER FUCKERS and it's a place known as BloodCookies.

The story is about a cult of unborn babies who communicate experimentally across the sex-ether and terrorise the world of motherhood by not allowing anymore babies to be born. Natural terms stretch from 9-11 months and it's very weird. Did I say it was inspired (vaguely) by Romeo & Juliet? Did I need to say that?

STAR CROSSED MOTHER FUCKERS by Mike Philbin

NEW CAMP HORROR R.I.P.:

Well, another one bites the dust and they have a new Mike Philbin story to take down with them. Due to health reasons, the edirot Rick Mohr confesses, this will be the last issue of New Camp Horror (for a while).

Anyway, here's the new story, enjoy - WHERE EVER SHE IS by Mike Philbin

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Monday, August 01, 2005

TLADOHC TOTALLY REWRITTEN:

I spoke to Bob Gunner who runs Cyber Pulp Books on the phone to Houston TX last night and told him to focus on the galley for Chimeraworld #2 (which I should receive within the week, his words) as I'd decided to totally rewrite The Life And Death of Hertzan Chimera.

Yeah, how can you rewrite a life that's already happened?

Well, you can. It's all about 'style' of content and 'format' of presentation. But unfortunately, I can't do this on a 'global' one-or-two-button-clicks level, I have really get my hands dirty for it to work. I've been hammering at the keyboard for three days solid and it's finished. My arms, my neck, my eyes all ache but it'll be worth it when you see the result. It means that its release gets pushed back again but thirty eight years in the writing, what's another couple weeks/months?

Both books should have been released in June but Bob has been having a tough old time of it recently so I'm willing to let the ball roll on this. Cyber Pulp Books is committed to publishing both these titles so, fear not, they will arrive. What's that ironic Asian proverb I always wheel out on occassions such as these? Nothing of any value ever comes easy. Sounds like my life.