Monday, October 31, 2005

MIKE PHILBIN, LIVE JOURNAL:

what on Earth am I doing giving myself the burden of a LiveJournal account? Well, everybody's got one - and nobody uses them properly. Why not join the club?

Mike Philbin's Live Journal

US GOV FEARS CHIMERAWORLD #2:

There must be something really wrong with Chimeraworld #2, something so abominable that the US Government's Postal Service would actually tear open a package containing it and return it to the sender with official rape-stamps all over it.

This stunning revelation comes courtesy of my good buddy David L Tamarin whose only crime was to try to send a copy of Chimeraworld #2 paperback to horror guru John Skipp. The package was apparently intercepted en-route by US officials and brutally 'examined' before being shunted back to sender in its dishevelled rags of packaging.

1984 has finally arrived, soon it will be a thought-crime to even want to read Chimeraworld #2.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

MIKE PHILBIN - FREE FICTION #13

Luckily for you, I've just uploaded the Saturday-before-Halloween Free Fiction issue #13 to my website, click on the text to read the rest - story begins.

free fiction issue #13...

BEER GIRL
(c) 2005 Mike Philbin


I've supped life from so many tainted cups, it makes my lips crack just thinking about the stench of life here in Oxford. Before I fell through the door of this pub, the Pig & Whistle, I followed Beer Girl and her rowdy friends around town wondering how far I could get my hairy forearm into her arse, her Polish black pudding...

SPACE IS EVEN BIGGER THAN WE BELIEVE:

Okay, I had myself a little fun the other day with the "God is the space between the atoms" thread but it got me thinking. It got me thinking in such a way that I realised how truly alone we are in this world, I came to realise that space is een bigger than we believe.

I was lying there, last night, in bed - my mind running free. I was looking across at my wife in the semi-darkness. She wasn't very far away but she seemed like miles away (now stop that, this is not a metaphorical analysis of a marital situation) - you see I wasn't looking with my eyes.

I was looking with my PROTONS(*).

What? You crazy freak! You're gonna hurt yourself. No, listen to the figures. The nucleus of an atom (where the protons congregate) is about 1*10^-15m which is very, very small, it's like 0.000000000000001m. If an atomic nucleus were ONE METER across, say, the atomic radius (where the electrons congregate) would be 100,000 meters away. If we look at atomic nucleii in gold, they are never closer tham 200,000 meters. And the atoms in my mostly-liquid body are much farther apart than that.

So, I'm lying there looking at my wife (with my 1 meter 'seeing' protons) and she's AT LEAST 200,000 * 10,000,000,000 meters away, let's say. Already, without talking about the distance to the nearest star, the closest I am to my most beloved person (in proton units) is 2,000,000,000 kilometers away. If I reach out to touch her nose wtih my fingertip, our two sensory surfacs are never gonna get any closer than 200 kilometers (more like 400 kilometers or 600 kilometers in practise).

(*) it's early in the mornin' and some of these calcs aren't up to scratch - but it's STILL real scary.

Friday, October 28, 2005

HORROR QUARTERLY, SIDEWAYS COVER @ AMAZON:

Beware, don't try and get too clever with your cover design. I didn't think I did when I designed the cover for the (best of issues one to three) HORROR QUARTERLY paperback available from Amazon. I uploaded this wacky sideways cover as soon as the book was published and available on Amazon and the next day it disappeared.

The book-image staff were very helpful about this, they investigated the sideways cover (which they had initially rejected on the grounds of sideways-ism), saw that it looked that way on my site and quickly corrected the deletion. How nice of them. They assure me that book descriptions and excerpts are gonna be completed soon on those six Chimericana Books.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

THE STENCH OF THE STREET:

Today, in my lunch hour, I wandered nervously around this congested town called Oxford and it was weird. Well, let me elucidate. Oxford isn't weird, but the feeling it gives you is weird. Remember that speech given by Kevin Spacey's character "John Doe" in the 1995 film SE7EN? I just gotta find that, it'll say much more than I can:

Do you think I chose this? Can you even begin to understand how painful my existence has been? It's like... like having every sense heightened beyond comprehension. So that the stench of the street coats your throat like bile. So, sugar is so sweet it... it makes your bones ache to the marrow.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

...PHILBIN FINDS GOD?

This should be titled "Philbin attempts to find God".

It came about, as most great things do, in the pub. I just had a nice long chat with a very religious person in a pub. He was clear that God was his buddy and had 'touched' him and he was trying to abide by God's will, and all that. And I dragged out my "God is the space between atoms, devoid of personality and moral" vanilla-ice-cream-philosophical-flavour-of-the-month.

Though my new friend was clearly clinging to his contemporary idea of a God-of-Love being more valid than the sun-worshiping, wrath-from-the-storm clouds, blood-offering, haunted-woods Gods of old BUT he did seem intrigued by my God that sits between the atoms. A God who allows everything man can throw at him because nothing we've done so far is against his 'design'.

Anyway, I need your help. I think we need to approach the God issue as one would a scientific experiment. We need to do SOMETHING that God will not allow. It's not a moral question, either, God allows all sorts of local/global debauchery, sickness, decay, evil. But there MUST be something that God will not allow. When we try to do it, God will simply not allow it - THERE is where God will reside.

Any ideas?

Monday, October 24, 2005

MIKE PHILBIN ONLINE, 300+ HITS PER DAY:

I noticed in July that the hit count for Mike Philbin Online was steadily starting to rise. From an average of around 50 hits per day, it confidently rose to 100+ hits per day all through August-September flirting with 200 hits per day all through the first three weeks of October. Today, I find to my delight that the hit counter exceeded 300 HITS PER DAY barrier with an ego-rubbing 310 hits. Let's see if we can get to the magic 400 hits per day by end October. Or maybe (at this rate) 500 hits per day is not unfeasible.

I'd like to thank the regular visitors to this blog (and to Mike Philbin Online) and all the new-comers to my world of Bizarro creativity. Have fun, I certainly am. Oh, and buy more Chimericana Books, if you would - they make wicked Halloween and Xmas presents. Hint, hint.

:)

Friday, October 21, 2005

INSPIRATIONAL WRITING, THE MINI-SERIES:

I have another silly project on the go, in collaboration with a stunning writer of erotica.

I supply six sentences and 4° produces vast tomes of psycho-sexual evil. This reminds me of the factory of art Mr Kostabi produced in the 80's where he had all these paid employees making his art for him.

Only this time it's writing. And there's no pay, for either of us. Anyway, here's the two so far. Enjoy, my fetish freaks of nature:

Life is like a box of rotting lemon pussy.

Hert me.

I can't wait to read a book from this writer. Class.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

WHITER THAN WHITE?

"I thought Wrath James White was the sickest motherfucker in the world until I read B.F.G.S. [by A. Severin & H. Chimera R.I.P.]" David L Tamarin, writer/reviewer.

This from the guy who calls me a "Cultural Terrorist". Charming.

LOL

Sunday, October 16, 2005

HORROR QUARTERLY PAPERBACK:

Chimericana Books has just published the first three issues of the extreme and bizarro online zine (formerly known as Terror Tales before I took over the editorial/design reigns) HORROR QUARTERLY as a paperback 'the best of' edition. Here's the stunning T.O.C. (click on the book cover to buy copies now):

INTRO - from Terror Tales to Horror Quarterly

ISSUE ONE - Body Horror
ARTICLE: THE GLORY IN BODY MUTATION - Ugly Shyla
INTERVIEW: BRUCE CAMPBELL - Destiny West
METAL: GORE ROTTED - Destiny West
FICTION: A FIVE-PART DISSECTION - Kurt Newton
FICTION: MODIFICATION OF A STUPID CUNT - Alex Severin
FICTION: THE WRONG GUY -- Edward Lee
FICTION: THE MANEATER - D Harlan Wilson
FICTION: ANYTHING GOES -- Destiny West
ARTICLE: JAPANESE HORROR 1/3 - Quentin S Crisp

ISSUE TWO - Fuck Horror
ARTICLE: 120 DAYS OF BUNNY - polycarp kusch
INTERVIEW: INGRID PITT - Destiny West
METAL: LAMB OF GOD - Destiny West
FICTION: THE CURE - Rickey Windell George
FICTION: DEVIL'S GOLD - James Havoc
FICTION: BUTTER RED AND DIAMOND EYES - Kurt Newton
FICTION: CHAMPAGNE ROOM - Cody Goodfellow
FICTION: INSIDE WANTS OUT - John Fowora
ARTICLE: JAPANESE HORROR 2/3 - Quentin S Crisp

ISSUE THREE - Blood Horror
ARTICLE: MENSTRUATION FOR MEN - Lucy A. Snyder
INTERVIEW: LIVING DEAD DOLLS - Destiny West
FICTION: LITTLE RED - Mark Dunn.
FICTION: SPIDER-BOY - Scott C Carr
FICTION: THE PINK COFFIN - Vera Searles
FICTION: THE SWEET SPOT - Charlee Jacob
FICTION: THE BLOOD BLOG - Alex Severin
ARTICLE: JAPANESE HORROR 3/3 - Quentin S Crisp

EPILOGUE - the future of H.Q.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

SCIENCEFICTIONFANTASYHORROR BLOG UPDATE:

I was mentioning only the other day to Dan C Rinnert, the owner/editor of ScienceFictionFantasyHorror.com, how I miss his regular blog updates - and there one is. What joy.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

GAME, NINTENDOGS:

Oh, yes, I gotta get my little girl one of those new NINTENDOGS (unofficial site) - she's been nagging me for a dog for ages but we live in an apartment complex here in Oxford and animals are seriously frowned upon.

But check out the CUTENESS OF NINTENDOGS with this helpful Flash movie of the a.i. in action.

Joy.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

MOVIE, SHALL WE DANCE?

No, not the recent Richard Gere fiasco but the original Japanese version of the anti-depressive powers of ballroom dancing. I recommend that all movie-goers interested in foreign films should at least have this living joy of a film in their collection.

'nuf sed.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

MOVIE, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL:

It was a film recommended to me by a total stranger in polite conversation about 'foreign films' which we both shared a great love of. I asked "Why LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL?", she told me what the story was about and I literally filled up with emotion.

The story opens with an openly-optimistic, in fact annoyingly so, loony Italian Jewish man who (finally) gets the girl (and the book shop) of his dreams. The story really starts when this ideal family is carted off to a Nazi concentration camp and the dad plays the entire nightmare as a game so that his lovely little son doesn't realise what the horror happening all around them really means.

The ending is totally, totally superb. A great moment in cinematic history.

Monday, October 03, 2005

SIN CITY MOVIE, ANY GOOD?

Nah, not really.

Its biggest flaw is it's devoid of compassion - all those twisted freaks on the screen could cut each other up with hacksaws until all the DVD lasers in the world go dark. You'd still never care a single jot about any of them.

So, woman = part-dressed fetish? Holy crap, how far have we come since the Women's Rights Movement?

Oh, I understand that it's a clever comic-homage of Frank Miller's graphic novels and all the best to him for wangling a movie deal but that doesn't really excuse the cheesy dialogue and terrible plot. I thought we were more cinematically educated than that now after sixty years of mainstream cinema - whatever happened to 'show not tell'? The cops are always criminals. The dames are always sassy. The hero - well, he likes his change in coats AND he can survive a death fall from a building to land on his red sneakers: shoot him as many times as you want. Is that what modern man has become? Is that all you have to do to him? Offer him a new corporate coat every now and then?

Overall, it reminds me of Kill Bill 1 - pretty pictures and so what? Play it in an art gallery. This is a TV-movie for kids, so why does it have an 18 certificate and a cinema release?

TOP TEN STORY @ SFFH:

It was with great joy that I received news from Dan C Rinnert (editor of SFFH) that both my published stories were in the top ten most read, this month and the last. From the figures, it's clear that most of SFFH's readers enjoy a good fantasy story.

The very interesting thing for me is that my first published story with SFFH, namely Brotheryly Love has not only been the most read horror story since its publication on June 16 but its position in the top ten ROSE by one more place in September than it was in August. A continung increase in interest, nice.

My most recent bizarro story Beyond The Sea is doing even better than this, a couple of places closer to the number one most read story.

I'd like to thank Dan again for his faith in Philbin and wish his online multi-genre (and bizarro-genre sponsoring) website continued growth and readership.

My next story to be published there is a second bizarro tale called Keeping It Together - hell, it's so weird it's nearly PKD-sci-fi-weird.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

KITE FLYING JOY:

Today was kite flying. Well, my daughter was 9 years old, and she had her friends round for a bit of a birthday party. We spent most of the afternoon flying kites on the hill. And most enjoyable it was, too.

:)

Saturday, October 01, 2005

JANE'S GAME, a bizarro novel by Mike Philbin:

Chimericana Books tonight released JANE'S GAME, a bizarro novel by Mike Philbin onto an unsuspecting public.

In 1989, Creation Press of London released a book of psycho-sexual horror fiction called red hedz that featured a drunken artist called Paul Kasparek and a mysterious redhead called Jane. A totally butchered version of this book formed the central act of the 2002 Eraserhead Press book SZMONHFU.

Back in 1990 an additional book was written called SKIN SCIENCE that explored Jane's origins and possible motivation for her totally destructive sexual behaviour but this haas never been published, until now.

JANE'S GAME brings together these two books in a brand new edition.

The technicians at the Fountains Institute for Molecular Research thought they knew what they were doing when they wrote her program, they had written and rewritten her so many times, why should this time be any different?

GUILTY SECRETS STILL GOING STRONG:

...it just dawned on me, so I checked, and yes you can still spill your online guts to the GUILTY SECRETS CONFESSIONAL.

GUILTY SECRETS is a journal designed for you ABOUT you. All entries are made totally anonymously. There is no IP tracking enabled - that's a promise. (But logged-in LJ users, remember to log out before you post if you want to remain anonymous!) Let your spirit free. Cleanse your soul of all the pain. Confess your sins.