Disney's new Jungle Book trailer literally scares the shit out of Free Planet.

Japanese games company Nintendo does this all the time, remaking and re-updating their greying corporate bastard-son "It's-a me!" Mario. So, why not Disney? They've got oodles of creaking intellectual property protected by iron-clad copyright law teams. Maleficent... which others tarot-towers are already on the cards?

This year's Disney-sacrificial offering contains a smooth-talking Gigantopithecus... the new post-Life of Pi, post-Planet of the Apes, post-Noah i.e. CGI-drenched anthropomorphised with excruciatingly ambivalent facial acting no place for a child horror of war drama; Jungle Book.



That was literally like watching a Disney remake of Apocalypse Now with Colonel Kurtz being ALL THE EGOMANIAC ANIMALS who want possession of the little boy for their own nefarious royal-advertising purposes, "I love the smell of teen terror in the morning. Smell of Victory." This is how the Garden of Eden must have been when the first Adam-boy turned up - where before there was animalistic harmony on the holy lawn tumultuous uproar for possession of the shiny new talking trinket would surely have ensued - this boy from God. This snake-bait.

OH, THE HORROR...

Personally, I'd rather see such it's-here-now CGI technology being spent making the original film version of Gene Brewer's superbly realised and utterly apocalyptic KPAX 3 thru 5. I want to live with the talking passionate opinionated ginger-space-monkey 'fled' and see the trans-dimensional 'bullocks' annihilate this corporate shell-hole shell-company shell-life district once and for all. That'd be worth seeing.