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Mercenary Times - Briton was NEVER invaded.

HISTORY REWRITTEN: series one, issue one

"Britain was NEVER invaded," strong claim, I realise, but hear me out.

In English History lessons, at schools and colleges, we learn about the first century Roman Invasion of Britain, we learn about the sixth century Anglo-Saxon invasion...but did this really happen?

Evidence (and I'm not going to laboriously cite my sources, but they are valid ones I've studied for the last few years) strongly suggests that both these Historically recorded invasions of our island never took place.

What did happen then?

MERCENARIES happened.
 
Well, let's not be so commercially crude about this treasonous transaction, let's call them Paid Bovver Boys or Hired Regulators were invited by certain BSL or British Slum Landlords to clear their land of local invaders or unruly neighbouring tribes. And this happened in both above cited cases of so-called 'invasion'.

In first century Briton, the Atrebates tribe in southern Britain most likely invited the Romans in to regulate for them against the Catuvellauni tribe, giving Rome (and the Vatican) a tactical and theological foothold it had been unable to obtain by forced invasion. Briton became stylised in a Roman fashion, where Britonic tribal leaders adopted Roman fashions and ways, not invaded in the sense we're taught. It's called Hadrians' Wall, but did the still-resident and ruling Britonic Council sanction the work?

In sixth century Briton, Vortigern cited as the Leader of the Britonic Council invited the Anglo-Saxons (who themselves might have been descendants of earlier Romano-Germanic legions in Holland) to regulate against invasions and tribal incursions from the Picts. Here, there's a more stunning revelation, remnants of the Bolivian comet of 592 AD might have cleared out most of the population of eastern/central Briton leaving a gaping geographical void into which the 'invading' Anglo-Saxons simply took up residence in larger numbers in the decades that followed. No massacre, no routing, just immigrational opportunism born of simple catastrophe from the skies.

All the while, the south-west of Briton and many parts of Wales/Ireland were doing BUSINESS with sea traders from Turkey and eastern Mediterranean via The Pillars of Hercules i.e. Gibraltar, and have probably been doing so for the last thousand years or more. City of London(sic) still trades the way it used to with and via these long-established global trade routes, except now it's all paper and digital rather than silks and spices trades for tin and copper and lead.

The story of BRITON is opening up to be quite the tale of Not Conquest, but Tactical Alliances; financial arrangements, opportunistic deal making and following of passing fashions.

In fact: if you look at the old Britonic tribes, painted in wode and naked and drug-using and multi-god Earth-worshipping, it's clearly plain that Brits used to look like ANY INDIGENOUS TRIBAL RACE one might have found until recent times in the Amazon Rainforest or the Pacific Islands. Britons would have looked like dark spirits emerging from the oaken woods to any invited-invaders meant to clean up the countryside and Romanise the landscape i.e. make Corporate Cities for Production to Ramp Up and Profit to ... profit.

Comments

Sarah Beth said…
Sorry, but you are going to need sources.

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